Hairdressers are so much more than color wizards, style advisors, and magicians with the scissors. They are our therapist, our priest in the confessional, our legal and medical advisor, our friend we have a standing date with. They know our spouse, children, and friends even if they've never met them. We trust them with our inner most secrets and fears. My Hairapist, my Paula, is this and so much more. My Guardian Angel, my life saver.
Speaking from a woman’s point of view, we often have a love/hate relationship with our hair. Mine has multiple personalities, and a different one usually emerges each day. I've learned to accept its quirkiness and let it take charge. Our quest for the perfect hair can lead to an overabundance of products, tools, and chair hopping in search of "the one", the stylist we absolutely love. Some will search in vain, never experiencing that one great relationship, some will settle with "good enough". I've been lucky enough to experience three amazing Hair Affairs, two of them simultaneously. But really, just how many hair dryers and curling irons does one need?
My first recollection of a hair cut involved walking across the street with my sister to our friend Christy's house. Her mom was the coolest with a full blown Beauty Shop in her basement. I remember my dad giving my three brothers the buzz cut at the dining room table, but the girls were treated to an occasional trip to the beauty shop with my mom cutting the bangs in between visits, the shorter the better. Think that may have happened right before these pics were taken! As a teenager, my naturally curly/frizzy hair was a thorn in my side when stick straight hair was the style. No fancy gels, mousses, sprays and flat irons back then, but with the help of juice can rollers and a little teasing I managed to have the perfect flip for my high school graduation photos.
We moved to Dallas at a time when shoulder pads, perms, and curls were the rage. The bigger the better. We all were into big hair back then, and mine was twice as big as my head. Apparently I was also into bows (I'm the one with the big red one) and obsessed with that West End Sweat Shirt. It showed up often when I was picture hunting! Does giving your daughter a perm hinge on child abuse? It was the 80's. I found Kelly in Dallas and it was the beginning of my first real hair stylist relationship that lasted many years. I cried when we moved to South Carolina thinking there would never be another Kelly. She will always have a special place in my heart, but OMG, I found Paula shortly after our move.
What started out as an hour long drive to get my hair done turned into a standing date with a friend and confidant who just happens to be an amazing stylist. Going out of town to find your Hairapist has its advantages. Most likely you'll never look up and see the person you're gossiping about sitting in the next chair! When our daughter got married and her long guest list only allowed me to invite one friend, I chose Paula. Recently, when my body was telling me something was wrong but my mind was too afraid to admit it and embarrassed to talk to my Doctor, I confided in Paula. And that's why she is now my new Guardian Angel!
It is out of my character to share something so personal on social media, but I'm considering this a Public Service Announcement. I ignored the intermittent rectal bleeding at first, placing too much faith in a recent normal colonoscopy, and was uncomfortable discussing it with my Primary Care Physician. I don't show my ass to just anyone! With a Doctor, two Nurses, and Physician's Assistant in the family I have a great advisory committee, but my first stop was Paula. After a few doctor appointments, misdiagnoses, outrageously expensive prescription cream, I ended up where Paula suggested I go in the first place, to her Colorectal Surgeon. My self diagnosed hemorrhoid turned out to be Stage 2 Anal Cancer. Things aren't always as they seem, and medicine is not an exact science. If I had gone sooner would it be Stage 1? If I waited six months for the follow up as suggested by the first doctor, would I be beyond hope? Listen to your inner voice. Be your own health advocate. Find your Hairapist! It's been a whirlwind of poking, prodding, scanning, cutting, and now planning for radiation and chemo. Confident in my medical and support team and ready to get the party started.
I loved seeing my Oncologist's and Gynocologist's faces when they looked up from my chart and asked who referred me to the Colorectal Surgeon. I smiled and said, "Paula, my hairdresser!" Priceless!!
And then there's April, my crazy cyber photo boothing Hairapist friend. She's never cut my hair and we've never met in person, but she's earned the title. We met through our mutual photo booth business Facebook group and swap booth stories and tips. She was one I turned to at 3 am, messaging away with my Cancer story before I even told some of my family and lifelong friends. A cosmetologist with an entrepreneurial spirit, she's heard it all!
I'm putting on a smile with my sassy new hairdo, but there's no denying the Wonder Woman inside me is terrified. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and a small snippet of good shows itself when we need it most. This crappy diagnosis pushed me into a liberating new look! If that's my only blessing, it's worth it. I have faith we'll get through this journey with grace, gratitude, and lots of laughter. I'd love for you to join our mailing list, share with your friends, and follow along with my blogs.
25 Comments
Nov 7, 2018, 7:59:48 AM
Deborah Doran - Just reread this and not sure why I never responded. Loved getting together with you and Carrie on my trip to MN. Let's do it again next time!
Apr 25, 2018, 6:39:57 PM
Debbie Lovell - Deb,
I just had a happy hour with our mutual friend Carrie, who told me about your blog.
I will tell you this...in August of 2010 I got the dreaded call that I had breast cancer. The next year was a blur of treatments, appointments, etc. but I have learned so much from going through it and I’m very much changed from it all. As you said , everything happens for a reason it seems, whether we understand why or not. Never ever give up hope. Always be your own advocate. Listen to that little voice within. You will come through this. There is now so many more advances in medicine , I see changes in treatment from when I did this 8 years ago. You will see joy in each day. Accept all the love and support around you from family and friends. They want to help you, let them. Much love to you. I will be following you.
Xoxo
Debbie
Apr 3, 2018, 10:53:15 AM
Teresa Jette - Hi Debbie,
I ran into your mom yesterday and I asked how you were doing. She told me about your blog. I wish I had your gift for writing, I’m still in the emergent stage as far as writing goes.
I’m keeping you in my prayers and know you will kick cancer’s ass!
Love From Snowy Minnesota!
(Yes, winter is still hanging on!)
Teresa
Mar 28, 2018, 6:46:51 PM
Deborah Doran - Life in a small town with so many cousins was great!
Mar 27, 2018, 12:22:29 PM
Brenda Knowlton - Prayers and lots of love from Minnesota Debbie. The pictures are triggering so many fun cousin memories. I remember playing “beauty shop” with you. I’ll try to hunt up one of the pics I have from
the “good old days” bedroom beauty salon.
Mar 11, 2018, 8:44:48 PM
Carol Groetsch - My Thoughts & Prayers are only a Breath Away... ❤️
Mar 11, 2018, 7:58:42 PM
Eileen Hinson - Beautiful hair! Beautiful writing! Beautiful lady! Thank you for being brave enough to share this journey with us! Sending lots of LOVE!
Mar 10, 2018, 4:16:09 PM
Deborah Doran - Thank you Karen.
Mar 10, 2018, 1:30:36 PM
Karen Merchlewitz - Debbie...you look beautiful and you sure have the gift of creative writing! I pray for healing for you and that God will use this for good in your life and draw you closers to Him!
Mar 10, 2018, 11:10:16 AM
Deborah Doran - Thank you so much for reaching, and reading my blog!
Mar 10, 2018, 11:09:44 AM
Deborah Doran - Thank you Marcia.
Mar 10, 2018, 11:09:05 AM
Deborah Doran - Thank you so much Diane. Your support means a lot to me!
Mar 9, 2018, 7:39:16 PM
Diane Draper - Love your honesty Deb!! You have a gift for expressing yourself in a way that brings a smile to my face. Praying for your treatment and healing. You go Warrior!
Mar 9, 2018, 4:58:45 PM
Margo Bissen - Thoughts and prayers and lots of positive vibes coming your way, Debbie. I love you new look. Thanks for sharing this beautiful blog.
Mar 9, 2018, 12:24:43 PM
Marcia Tobar - Amazing story. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
Mar 9, 2018, 7:14:45 AM
Deborah Doran - Your words of encouragement and text mean so much to me! Thank you.
Mar 8, 2018, 7:05:21 PM
Brenda Knowlton - What a gift you have for writing/sharing. Your words entertain and educate. We will be praying you through this cancer treatment.
Mar 8, 2018, 5:50:55 PM
Mary Ann Cochlin - Nicely done Debbie! Loved reading your blog. You are a warrior and will kick cancer's butt!
Mar 8, 2018, 5:02:13 PM
Jean T. Johnson - Deb,
Thank you for sharing your story. What courage! You have to be proud of yourself.
Sending hope and love to you through prayer.
Jean Dooley Johnson
Mar 8, 2018, 11:25:23 AM
Deborah Doran - Just like finding you through my "what was I thinking" business venture, something good will come from this too!
Mar 8, 2018, 10:50:07 AM
tom bissen - Wow. Awesome new look Debbie and yes you are ready to kick ass! So thankful you have Paula and April in your life. Love Ya!
Mar 8, 2018, 10:34:28 AM
Kathy Grant - Debbie that is an amazing story. You are a gifted writer. As you know cancer is a scary journey but with faith, family, friends and your medical team you can beat this!!! God bless.
Mar 8, 2018, 10:14:59 AM
Suzanne @ Le Farm - You are so Wonder Womanish... !
Love love LOVE!
Mar 8, 2018, 10:14:58 AM
Suzanne @ Le Farm - You are so Wonder Womanish... !
Love love LOVE!
Mar 7, 2018, 8:12:49 PM
Paula Berends - I loved it and I Love you my dear friend!!!!!